Feb 14, 2013

Happy thursday

Blah, I don't like Valentine's day. I just don't. Before I think it might have been because I was single. So what am I whining? I do have a boyfriend now! I just don't like it. It's like that's the only day of the year when you can spend quality time with your friends or lovers, give them cute presents etc etc. Excuse me What?? So, you can't buy roses or chocolate for your partner just because it's not 14.2? Or you can't give something nice or be nice to your friends just because it's not that one specific day of the year? Bullshit.

The thought is nice (because of course you usually forget to mention to your loved ones how important they are to you in the middle of the hectic normal life) but it has really drowned under all that commercialism and sweets and toy companies who just want to make money. All that crap. And that is quite sad.

I think I'm going to suggest my friends (and my monkey) that we could try to have our own "Valentine's day" each month. And then it wouldn't be about spending money for gifts and chocolate and stuff but about spendind some quality time together and telling them how much they mean to you. For example, making a list of the things you like in your friend or top ten silliest things you've done together. I think that would be very nice. And if we had that each month, we wouldn't forget to tell them their meaning in our lives.

That's the deepest meaning of Valentine's day. Telling and showing your loved ones they mean the world to you, who actually cares about the chocolates and roses? They don't last forever. Chocolate gets bad and moldy if you don't eat them and then you throw them away. Roses wither and die away and then you throw them away too. Teddy bears get broken and actually usually lose their meaning, if they even have it. But that's not what happens to close and good friendships. And we should keep them alive, not by buying stupid meaningless, mass-produced, soulless goods but spendind time with friends and showing them they actually mean a lot to you. Right?

Well, now I have talked enough about the deepest meaning of  Valentine's day and told why I don't like it, I can let you rest your eyes and brains and finish here. I hope my thoughts weren't the stupidest ones or way too complicated...

Anyways, have a happy thursday evening and nice days with your friends and lovers and remember to tell them how much they mean -every day. :)

The Beatles - With a little help from my Friends (well, it's a classic)

Feb 12, 2013

Dreaming of sleep

Hello people, I died four months ago but now I have woken up from my sleep and become a zombie. I have a gazillion billion things that have happened during this quiet period, but I think they are not-so-important-that-I-should-tell-you-but-I-swear-they-are-interesting things. 

So, let me just stay in the present and not think so much what happened something like four months ago. Okay, one thing I can tell you: on Monday I will be very happy to say that I've been dating for four months. Yay ^^ (I think most of you think that it isn't a big deal. "Just Four Months? Yay...?" But to me it is a big thing because I've never been dating with anyone before, if you remember)
It is actually a funny thing. Like, you know, Caring about someone. I always thought it would be soooo much different than this. I mean, in a positive way. And it's the most wonderful feeling in the world when you notice that the more time you spend with The One the more you care about them. And it's so lovely to look at someone and think: "He's mine.. All mine" and feel Sooo much affection. It's just marvellous to have "My luv". <3

Okay, so that's all about it. I have enjoyed winter this year quite a lot. ... Okay, okay, I admit it, I have barely been outside. I'm allthe time just lying around inside. Alone or with my boyfriend. I'm seriously the biggest lazy ass ever. Oh shit. I'm afraid I'm getting fat and disgusting. I have those problems with eating couple weeks ago... Hopefully not anymore. Oh gosh, I seriously don't have a lifeeeee.

Right now also my motivation for school is gone. I don't know where it's gone, why and when. Orhave I even had that. I'm very sad about it. I should do something about it. I'm veey tired, antisocial and suck at school. I'm not good at anything and my class is full of people sho are good at everything. Blah.

Okay, this is enough of my whining. I'm tired. I think I'll go to sleep. No, wait. I have to be at school 'til four o'clock... Fuck

Oct 2, 2012

Wouldn't it be nice?

"If we were older, then we wouldn't have to wait so long. And wouldn't it be nice to live together in the kind of world where we belong?"

That was dedicated to myself. Because there's nobody else to dedicate it. And there will never be.

I feel like shit right now. I feel unimportant and ugly and boring person. Well, I guess I am that kind of person. My friends are always so much more popular and liked. And they keep on telling me how pretty, nice etc. etc. I am, but it makes that harder to believe because I'm always standing by and watching how every guy lays their eyes on them and never see me -or then they see me just as a friend. If I was a guy then I would be the "mr. Nice guy" who is fun company and a good friend but never anything else. Sigh. What do my friends have that I don't have that makes them sooooo attractive? Of what's the matter in me that makes me so unattractive? I try to be joyful and social and smile a lot and try to do everything that my friends do. I try to look as pretty as I can. And what happens? Guys tell my Friends that They are pretty and that they like them! That's unfair.

So, currently I don't bother to believe in real love or that it would happen to me. It is just a foolish thing that makes people go crrrrazy. That won't happen to me. Nope. Not anymore. I don't want to get fooled and disappointed once again.

But why are guys like that? I mean, they let girls (or just me...) expect that they might love them and then when they've had their fun just make up some excuse so they don't need to carry on with that girl. Or then act that way that they would care -and then say that they like somebody else! That's stupid.

So, these are the things that are rushing in my mind right  now. I won't be telling you what caused these thoughts because it might be too personal...

But it seriously Would be nice to have a person to dream and plan the future with...
The Beach Boys - Wouldn't it be nice

And this might be a good ending. Next time My sweet little darlings will be here, I promise!
So good night, until then...

Sep 25, 2012

Long time, no seen

Sorry, I haven't been writing here for a loooooong long time! I've been just so freaking busy and my head is empty.

So, exam week. Today was English exam, tomorrow geography preparation and on thursday geography exam... I seriously think I'm gonna screw all of my exams. I mean it. I haven't read anything. Well, maybe I'll survive... At least I can enjoy that I can sleep late and Ă…don't need to be in school more than just 1-3 hours. And it won't kill me.

I want a boyfriend. I've been dreaming about perfect guys for like a month. It's just that I'm so shy that I cannot go to talk to guys. They make me nervus. Always. Well, of course there are couple of exceptions. But if we don't count them, then I'm absolutely not able to talk to any guys. Sigh. Depressing. And usually it's so that I can't even look into their eyes or Smile to them. I makes me nervous even I wouldn't like that guy That Way. Another sigh. I'm hopeless. Truly I'm going to be a forever alone.

I should go to sleep. But I don't want to. I'm not sleepy. But I either have anything to say. Sigh. Wy am I sighing all the time?

I drew this thing today:
This is how I feel when I see some happy couple.
Of course I don't want to steal her boyfriend or anything, I just want to be that happy.

And now it's time for the last song and then I'll go to bed... Hmm...
Blondie - Call me

Yeah sure. You just don't have my number so too bad :P
Good night!

Aug 22, 2012

Thinking and baking (almost) and doing silly things

I have totally fallen in love with braids! I love making them and I try to create some new ways to make them. I just wish that my hair would grow faster... Now it barely reaches my shoulders. Well, patience, patience...
  And now I think you might be interested in how's my school started? I've been there now for a week and still alive! But I have to admit that IB is very different than upper secondary school/high school or whatever is the parallel English word for Finnish lukio. Whatever, you still understand what I'm talking about, right?
  Yes, and now about my class. There are eleven of us in my group and we're going to spend the next three years together so I just can't wait that day when I can name the member of our odd family (like who's the mum and who's the dad etc. etc.)... *evil grin* I think I'm going to have a little vision of how it would look like... I would be the crazy "not in my time..." -kind of granny! xD Yep, right. I think I gotta start knitting in the lessons...
 
And now I started to think about baking... I want to make rolls! Yes! That's what I'm gonna do! Right away! Oh, what did you say? We have no flour? And yeast? Oh... Hey! Are you trying to make me stay in the net? No? Don't you dare lie to me!

Five minutes later

Okay, I don't start doing them now... It's too late, nobody couldn't eat them tonight cause the supper is now. Why do these wonderful ideas come to my mind always so late? Well, tomorrow I could ask mum to go and buy some flours and yeast so I can bake after school. Niceee... Thanks mum! I love you! <3

Winnie: Hello folks! Have you heard that Her old crush is in the same school building as she? And now she's making some stupid dreams in her head like-
Kitty: ...aaaand that's enough about that thing!
Derby: I just can't understand her... There are two hot guys in her class and she just starts to dream about her old crush... Not in my days... *slurps her tea*
Winnie: And What On Earth has happened to you?? TEA??? Where's the champagne?
Kitty: Seriously Derby, are you okay?
Derby: I am just fine, thank you for asking.
Kitty: Stop imitating that stupid British accent!
Peter: Is there something bad about it, Kitty-darling?
Kitty: Don't you start that too Pete... I'm warning you!
Milly: Peter?
Peter: Yeah?
Milly: You're here?
Peter: It's not so big miracle....
Milly: But... I haven't seen you in a while... Where have you been?
Peter: Ohhhh, did you miss me, Milly-Moe? *ruffles up her hair*
Milly: Oh.. No! I was just wondering! *runs away*
Peter: Yo, kitten! I was planning to go to see Kev some day.
Kitty: Haven't I told you often enough NOT to call me that way??? And go! I won't miss you!


They're always arguing. Like me and my little brother. And just to let you know: I don't like tea! I don't know how Derby can drink that kind of shit...

And this is how I feel right now: "One, two, three, four, canI have little more? Five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten, I love you..."

Beatles - All together now
(Derby: And of course: "...Can I bring my friend to tea?"
Kitty: You shut up...) 


Aug 20, 2012

Love is... is it?

Hello Milly. 
 
I bet you look gorgeous. I saw you also when you came here. Sorry for taking so long time to wrote back. Your letter was really sweet and I like to meet you. we can go out together sometime, when its okey for you of course. What are you thinking about evening together, maybe for a movie or romantic dinner?  Waiting for your reply. 
 
Your Kevin.


Milly: *blushed* (whispers) Oh... my... goodness...
Derby: Heyyy, Milly-darling, what's the matter?
Milly: Noth- WHAT ON EARTH ARE YOU EATING?
Derby: What...? Ooooh, you meant This! Well it's just sauerkraut. The best in the world! Kitty and Peter brought it from EStonia, wanna have some?
Milly: Ugh! For God's sake NO! Take it away from me! It's just disgusting!
Derby: Whatever you want... *leaves the room rolling her eyes*
Kitty: Hey, Milly-Moe! Could you help me with these math excercises?
Milly: Why don't you o and ask from Miss G? You know that I'm better with languages!
Kitty: Oh... Well sorry I bothered you... *leaves the room staring at Milly as she was out of her mind*
Poppy: Milly...
Milly: WHAT NOW?! Why is everyone coming here right now? There's Miss G if you want some help! I Need Some Privacy!
Poppy: But... *whimper*
Milly: Just leave...

Later on...

Michela: Umm, Milly...?
Milly: *quails* Wh-What?
Michela: You alright?
Milly: Sure...
Michela: What do you have there?
Milly: N-Nothing...
Michela: Oh come on! Show me now!
Milly: Well okay... *hands Michela a letter*
Michela: ...look gorgeous... sweet... go out sometime... dinner... MILLY! This is amazing! He wants to see you! Oh hun, this is totally terrific! I can just imagine you and Kevin in a romantic dinner... Oh...
Milly: Michi, PLEASE! Don't start planning our wedding right away! What if it's just a joke?
Michela: Oh stop it! Of course it's not! Now we just gotta answer to that letter... Let me see...
Milly: Michi... umm... Waht  are you doing?
Michela: Looking for a pen and a paper of course!
Milly: We can't write it now! I got English homework to do!
Michela: Who said that You are going to write it?
Milly: But-
Michela: Shush! Now you start doing that homework!
Milly: But-
Michela: Be quiet now or I'll tell to Derby!
Milly: Okay...
Michela: Good boy! *pats Milly's head* So let me see... Dear Kevin... No! So worn! Umm... My dearest Kevin... Yes! *muttering* ...next sunday... movies... *muttering* YES!
Milly: *looks confused*
Michela: It's ready my love!
Milly: What does it say? *takes the paper*

My dearest Kevin!
Thank you for your reply, it's okay that it was a bit late. At least you answered! So how about this: let's meet on the next Sunday in front of the cinema at 7.30 PM. After that we could go to eat something. Does it sound nice? 
Looking forward to your answer!

Truly yours, Milly


Milly: I CAN'T SEND HIM SOMETHING LIKE THIS!!
Michela: Well, I can!

Lady M: MICHELA! MILLY! TO BED! IMMEDIATELY!!

Yup... That's what's happening inside my head... Too tired to write anything about myself! Sorry folks! 

I think I gotta take a walk to the river of dreams...
Billy Joel - River of dreams

Good night!

(Want to see Kevin's reaction to the letter Milly sent him before? Take a look in here! http://ebony-darkshadow.blogspot.fi/2012/08/alters-with-letter.html )


Aug 9, 2012

Flashes from my thoughts

Hi folks! There are only four days left of my summer holiday. I will start in a new school on 14th day. Eeep! Creepy. I'm scared and distressed. But also very excited!

I spent a week at my grand mother's. Was it nice? Yeess. I watched the Olympics with my grandfather, went to help my 9-year old cousin with their new kitten (TOO SWEET!! <3<3<3) and yesterday we went picking wild raspberries. Yummy! And most of the week I spent knitting knitting knitting... I knit wool socks! It's lovely. I've made now two socks and now I just need to make pairs to them. Niceee...

Tomorrow, hopefully, I'll go to help my friend while she's moving to another town. That's scary, she's just 16! Now I'll lose a friend to the great and creative people there... Snif. So sad.

I'm so sorry, but I have nothing to say right now. I'll try to write something clever before the school starting day. Or on that day. You might be curious to know how did my first day at school go and how I feel about it.

And now I've let my darlings for a little holiday o they won't be sayin' anything today... Sorry.

About a year ago I fell in love with Spice Girls. Then I listened to it too much and forgot everything very quickly. Now yesterday I just started to think about this beautiful song:

Spice Girls - Viva forever

It is just beautiful, I'll never get over it.
And also this...

Spice Girls - Too much

"I want a man, not a boy who thinks he can..."









Poppy: *wakes up* Um... Where is everybody? Lady Madonna? Kitty? Miiichiii? Anyone? Hello...?