"If we were older, then we wouldn't have to wait so long. And wouldn't it be nice to live together in the kind of world where we belong?"
That was dedicated to myself. Because there's nobody else to dedicate it. And there will never be.
I feel like shit right now. I feel unimportant and ugly and boring person. Well, I guess I am that kind of person. My friends are always so much more popular and liked. And they keep on telling me how pretty, nice etc. etc. I am, but it makes that harder to believe because I'm always standing by and watching how every guy lays their eyes on them and never see me -or then they see me just as a friend. If I was a guy then I would be the "mr. Nice guy" who is fun company and a good friend but never anything else. Sigh. What do my friends have that I don't have that makes them sooooo attractive? Of what's the matter in me that makes me so unattractive? I try to be joyful and social and smile a lot and try to do everything that my friends do. I try to look as pretty as I can. And what happens? Guys tell my Friends that They are pretty and that they like them! That's unfair.
So, currently I don't bother to believe in real love or that it would happen to me. It is just a foolish thing that makes people go crrrrazy. That won't happen to me. Nope. Not anymore. I don't want to get fooled and disappointed once again.
But why are guys like that? I mean, they let girls (or just me...) expect that they might love them and then when they've had their fun just make up some excuse so they don't need to carry on with that girl. Or then act that way that they would care -and then say that they like somebody else! That's stupid.
So, these are the things that are rushing in my mind right now. I won't be telling you what caused these thoughts because it might be too personal...
But it seriously Would be nice to have a person to dream and plan the future with...
The Beach Boys - Wouldn't it be nice
And this might be a good ending. Next time My sweet little darlings will be here, I promise!
So good night, until then...
